Sourdi the Savior

    Finding a community to feel at home with is something people spend their whole lives looking for. In the short story, “Saving Sourdi,” Nea, Sourdi, and her mom share different relationships with their surroundings and the communities they lost or never had. The dual influences of Cambodian and American cultures leave the women of “Saving Sourdi” untethered to any cultural community and place the highest pressure on Sourdi, the oldest daughter, to ultimately save her family.

Historical Context:

    Khmer Rouge was a group of Cambodian communists who rose to power quickly in the early 1970s. During their reign, over 1.5 million people died. People of all groups were uprooted from their cities and forced on marches or to work on farm collectives. Many died from illness, starvation, or were simply overworked to death. Scholars and ethnic Vietnamese were especially targeted and killed. After two decades, the leaders of the Khmer Rouge have lost power and some were later convicted of crimes against humanity (“Khmer Rouge” [Columbia Electronic Encyclopedia]). The lasting effects of this Cambodian genocide are sweeping in both Cambodia’s current infrastructure as well as globally due to refugee movement (“Khmer Rouge” [HISTORY]).  

Nea thinks she’s saving Sourdi: 

    Nea grabs control of the narrative in “Saving Sourdi,” steering the story in the direction that fits best with her preconceived expectations. In this same fashion, she grabs hold of her sister and tries to never let her go to keep her safe. The moment she decided to stab the man harassing Sourdi is the moment she realized she would have to take matters into her own hands if she wanted action. “I thought Ma would take care of everything now. And I was right; she did, but not the way I had imagined” (Chai 129). The center of Nea’s driving force is action. American culture mirrors this resolution to stay independent and individualist in the face of problems (Yeh). Nea is too young to remember witnessing all the times her older sister and mother had to rely on each other’s collective power in order to stay safe. In her perspective, everyone seems detached from each other—Sourdi’s dreams evolve to running away with Duke instead of Nea and her mother sometimes “smoked too much and looked at us as though she wished we’d never been born” (Chai 130). It’s clear through her actions that her perception of heroism is affected by this as well. Instead of valuing collectivism, she thinks she has to act alone and in big gestures to make impressions on her family. Her feelings of abandonment prompt her to look for ways to prove her worthiness and force everyone back to her.  

Sourdi’s mom thinks she’s saving Sourdi:

    Sourdi’s mom has assumed all the roles of the household, not in an act of rejecting tradition but because she has no choice. She was forced to flee a war-ravaged Cambodia without her husband, cultural community, or financial safety. After losing most of her support system, she most likely sees her children as her only connection to the past as well as the ticket to future generations. Just like Nea is desperate to hold on to Sourdi, their mother wishes to grasp hold of everything they had lost; however, practicality calls for focusing on the future instead. Immigrating to a capitalist country as a refugee family without much to rely on, she knows there is an urgent need for money. This manifests itself in a cruel transaction of trading the dignity of her culture and her children for running Silver Palace and appealing to customers like the racist, drunk man who harassed Sourdi. This reflects a more forceful shove towards integrating into American culture out of necessity rather than a gentle “melting pot” of influences. Working towards future success is a significant aspect of American culture related to individualism.

    Sourdi beginning a relationship with Duke, a “funny-looking white kid with hair that stuck up straight from his head...” (Chai 131) is a tangible reminder to her mother of all the ways they’re all losing their connections to Cambodia. But she wants better for Sourdi so their uncle fires Duke to remove him as a distraction, and she tries to keep her away from the “melting pot” a little longer. She tries to protect Sourdi from all the struggle she endures for the family by offering what she personally lost: a financially secure Cambodian man and a family to raise together. She sees marriage as Sourdi’s only measure against economic problems which is the reality for many immigrant women. She takes this highly gendered approach to financial security with her daughter because she believes it will be more successful than encouraging her independence, enforcing gender roles between women and men. This accelerates her path to adulthood and puts her education at risk.

Sourdi thinks she’s saving her family:

    Sourdi knows she needs to be everything her family needs, even if they all need different things. The moment Sourdi watched Nea stabbed her harasser, she knew she’d need to be more restrained than her younger sister. Nea described her expression as “the way I felt inside. Like a big bomb was ticking behind her eyes” (Chai 129). Unlike Nea, however, Sourdi buries her feelings and tries to serve as the anchor in her family. She is aware of how much Nea adores her and must act as a good role model. The study, “Perception of Sibling Relationships and Birth Order among Asian American and European American Emerging Adults,” states that firstborns are under great pressure to be successful role models. East Asian firstborns in particular frequently feel the pressure of simultaneously taking care of younger siblings and parents as they adjust to America. As the oldest, Sourdi was at her mother’s side during their flight from Cambodia. She bears the responsibility of adjusting to an American lifestyle after experiencing this trauma that Nea can’t relate to regardless of how close they are. This is clear when Duke takes the two of them to a bare cornfield and she has a panic attack flashing back to the minefields she had to cross with Nea. Nea didn’t make this connection, instead lashing out at Duke for showing them “hick stuff” (Chai 132).

    The inarticulacy in her identity—not quite as Cambodian as her mother after going to school but not as American as Nea who impulsively rebels against her mother and doesn’t have an accent—can be culminated in the term “1.5 generation immigrant.” The term "1.5 generation immigrant," describes someone who immigrated to a new country at a young age and therefore can’t identify with the labels "first generation" or "second generation" immigrant (Lu). This most likely contributes to her feeling less like a fully autonomous girl and more like a mirror that reflects what her family wants to see. The first times Mr. Chhay visits, she barely talks to him. She knows that if she marries him, her dreams of traveling the world, being independent, and existing without expectations will officially be reduced to childhood fantasies. These dreams reflect the core American value of individualism (Yeh). Still, her feelings of familial duty win out. Sourdi embodies the influences of biculturalism more than the other two women and the inner conflict that comes with it.

    The four stanza poem, "How I Got That Name," details Marilyn Chin's conflicted feelings on assimilation and having trouble in identifying with Chinese or American culture. Chin criticizes the blanket stereotypes Chinese Americans are grouped under for just adding to their reputation of “usefulness” rather than recognizing the complexity of their identities. She takes a bitter tone that’s especially unforgiving to her father who renamed her "Marilyn" to replace the name "Mei Ling" in an act of patriarchal control and an attempt to make her more American. Sourdi’s own feelings are acknowledged in these lines. Chin writes, “The further west we go we'll hit east; / the deeper down we dig, we'll find China” (46-47). Chin uses “we” here to represent the masses of Asian Americans who feel lost from their home countries and in a rare encouraging tone, reassures them (and herself) that one day they will find an inner balance. 

An interview with my mother, a refugee from Cambodia:

To clarify, are you Cambodian?

My family is Chinese even though we lived in Cambodia— because of a marriage earlier in our family line. We’re Hakka which translates to “guest families.” Our ethnic group is known to move around. 

Can you describe your journey from Cambodia to New York?

We escaped Cambodia when the Khmer Rouge took power. The leader was Pol Pot who wanted to wipe out all businessmen, including my father. If we didn’t escape to Thailand, we’d probably be put in a labor camp or killed. We escaped through the jungle at night to get to Thailand. I remember my grandpa carrying me on his back. My brother was only a baby which was a huge risk. We ran into two Khmer Rouge soldiers and my parents bribed them to let us live. I don’t remember much from living in the Thailand refugee camp for two years. I remember getting hand me down clothes and a Blonde teacher who taught the adults English. Some refugees went to France or Australia. It was whoever could sponsor you and for us, it was my aunt. In the end, four generations of my family—all 12 of us—got to America.

Did you feel pressure being the first-born and only daughter in your family?

Yes. I took care of a lot of the paperwork and reading for my parents who couldn’t speak English as well. I made phone calls and talked to people for all my extended family. I took care of my two brothers because my parents were working all the time. This all fell on me because I was the oldest and also the most responsible. My parents definitely expected more from me, more work, more chores. They were less strict on my brothers. It was probably also because I was a girl. 

Do you believe you had to grow up faster and in what ways?

Yes, I was handling a lot of the work around the house and with my brothers. I started spending most of my free time working with my family at a Chinese restaurant at age 14.

Do you think the relationships within your family were altered after immigrating to America?

Immigrating gave us all freedom to not worry about war and offer a better life than what we had in Cambodia. We had more peace of mind. I guess we all got closer because we had to work hard together. There’s no time to regret things or else your family can’t eat. You just have to do what you have to do.

Do you identify with the term “1.5 generation immigrant?"

I think that fits me well. I don’t remember too much about Cambodia. I left at age 6 and after spent 2 years in a refugee camp in Thailand. But I spent most of my life living in New York, going to public school, college, or working. I have three names. There’s my Chinese name. And I chose my English name myself: Annie. But in 3rd grade, I changed it again because I liked Christine better. I legally changed it to Christine when I became a legalized citizen at age 23. Some of my friends still call me Annie. I have a good mixture. Americanized yet Chinese. I wouldn’t say I’m completely one or the other. 

    Interviewing my mother on her experiences as a child helped me characterize Sourdi beyond a sister Nea loves but judges for being too complacent. When Sourdi decided to marry Mr. Chhay, she sacrificed dreams that she always knew wouldn’t come true because in my mother’s words, “You just have to do what you have to do.” She was forced to grow up faster to relieve the financial burdens on her mom and reassure her that she would be a loyal daughter. Her familial obligations coupled with her complex childhood caused her to lose some of her sense of identity. The influences of both American and Cambodian cultures will forever remain unbalanced within Nea and their mom, leaving them always slightly disjointed with each other and their environment.

family can be a community

Works Cited 

Chai, May-Lee. "Saving Sourdi." The Bedford Introduction to Literature, Ed. Michael Meyer, 9th ed, Bedford/St. Martin's, 2001, pp. 128-41. 

"Khmer Rouge." Columbia Electronic Encyclopedia, 6th Edition, Feb. 2020, p. 1. EBSCOhost. Accessed 7 Jan. 2021. 

"Khmer Rouge." HISTORY, A&E Television Networks, 21 Aug. 2018. Accessed 12 Jan. 2021. 

Lu, Chin. "The Not-Quite-American Feeling of Being a 1.5 Generation Immigrant." VICE, VICE MEDIA GROUP, 13 Apr. 2016, Accessed 8 Jan. 2021. 

Wu, Kaidi, et al. "Perception of Sibling Relationships and Birth Order Among Asian American and European American Emerging Adults." Journal of Family Issues, vol. 39, no. 13, 2018, pp. 3641–63. Accessed 8 Jan. 2021. 

Yeh, Christine J., et al. "Cultural Values and Racial Identity Attitudes among Asian American Students: An Exploratory Investigation." Counseling and Values, vol. 48, no. 2, Jan. 2004, p. 82+. Gale Academic OneFile. Accessed 8 Jan. 2021. 

Bibliography 

Chai, May-Lee. "Saving Sourdi." The Bedford Introduction to Literature, Ed. Michael Meyer, 9th ed, Bedford/St. Martin's, 2001, pp. 128-41. 

Chai, May-Lee. "Questions on 'Saving Sourdi.'" May-Lee Chai's Blog, WordPress, 13 Nov. 2008. Accessed 14 Jan. 2021. 

"How I Got That Name." Poetry for Students, vol. 28, Gale, 2008, pp. 159-71. Gale eBooks. Accessed 8 Jan. 2021. 

"Khmer Rouge." Columbia Electronic Encyclopedia, 6th Edition, Feb. 2020, p. 1. EBSCOhost. Accessed 7 Jan. 2021. 

"Khmer Rouge." HISTORY, A&E Television Networks, 21 Aug. 2018. Accessed 12 Jan. 2021. 

Lu, Chin. "The Not-Quite-American Feeling of Being a 1.5 Generation Immigrant." VICE, VICE MEDIA GROUP, 13 Apr. 2016, Accessed 8 Jan. 2021. 

Wu, Kaidi, et al. "Perception of Sibling Relationships and Birth Order Among Asian American and European American Emerging Adults." Journal of Family Issues, vol. 39, no. 13, 2018, pp. 3641–63. Accessed 8 Jan. 2021. 

Yeh, Christine J., et al. "Cultural Values and Racial Identity Attitudes among Asian American Students: An Exploratory Investigation." Counseling and Values, vol. 48, no. 2, Jan. 2004, p. 82+. Gale Academic OneFile. Accessed 8 Jan. 2021.