confusing ruminations on mentorship

The concept of mentorship is something I rarely think about. It seems so vague and detached from my personal experiences. If I’m looking deeper into what constitutes a mentor, however, I find that it’s just a person who offers guidance or influence to another. Oh, okay—I guess I have a few mentors then.

Older friends that supported me through tough decisions and offered advice seems pretty mentor-like to me. Although if I do the same for them, does that make me a mentor? Maybe all friendships are simply mutual mentorships. (Oh yes, we felt highly mature offering guidance to one another in building a tower of Tupperware containers and phones to balance a Polaroid camera.)

I think there’s not a single person I’ve met that I haven’t learned (or at least been reminded of) something from. These lessons vary from life-altering to minor hints that I can draw from later on. But if I consider everyone who has influenced me—or my life—mentors, then they can’t have all been positive influences. Is it possible to have a bad mentor? Could my mentor be “bad” and “good” at different times? I often play with the ideas of human good and bad in my blog posts. Mentors must have the same complexities to evaluate because sometimes they exist in a vacuum where you only extract the best from them but most times, mentors are the ones you’re closest to. These are people you see multiple sides of. When dealing with a real person, you could be learning how to be patient, and kind, and generous while simultaneously being taught new insecurities and close-minded ideals. We don’t typically exist in a vacuum. Luckily there are other “mentors” around to help you unlearn things.